We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
