The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
