He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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