Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
