I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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