piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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