I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
