One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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