Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
operation harelip BJ is a go
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
