She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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