it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
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You pole danced in your parka.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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