Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
