If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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