She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
