She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
