Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
