I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
