No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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