are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize
