Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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