I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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