i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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