I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
