i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
