i don't like sucking hair
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
