So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
