it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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