At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
