YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize