Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
