Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
