eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
