Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
