you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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