Redeem this text for a blowjob
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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