Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
