Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
