There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
