you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
