You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
