in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
