No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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