That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just cropdusted the office
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
pray to the hookup gods
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
