went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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