and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
