She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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