I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize