We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
