he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
