If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
