Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
