my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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