We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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