we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
