if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
