Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
