You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
