the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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