What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
