My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Can you bring me the toilet please
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
