She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize