and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
