Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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