There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
