I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
