we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
