It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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