Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
