I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
