so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
