the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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