If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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