just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Go christen that room with your naked body.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize